


Schrodinger's Bastard

by frozenCinders



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Other Characters Briefly Appear - Freeform, also featuring demyx losing his mind in the background, uncle braig cinematic universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 19:31:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18745627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frozenCinders/pseuds/frozenCinders
Summary: The existence of "Number 0" in the Organization is essentially an open secret, reaching a point where everyone has seen him except for Xemnas and Saix. This drives Saix absolutely mad.





	Schrodinger's Bastard

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this tweet](https://twitter.com/chikalisas/status/1121946221390602240)

The first time Saix had heard the rumors, he expected to be introduced to a legitimate new member. Xigbar was clearly intent on not giving Saix any direct answers, so he assumed it must have been some awful joke or something and decided to move on.

These days, it seems like  _everyone_ is in on the joke, even people Saix would never have expected to play along, like Vexen and Xaldin. None of them can give him any information to go on aside from 0's association with Xigbar. Zexion is about the only one who staunchly refuses to play along, insisting he knows nothing about this mystery member. Or perhaps he _is_  playing along.

Seeing that the Grey Area is empty despite only one member being away on a mission at the moment, Saix breathes an irritated sigh and retreats into the hallway, not in the mood to wait around for people to decide they'd like to work today. He catches Axel in passing, who is wiping off what appears to be powdered sugar from the corner of his mouth.

"Where is everyone?" Saix asks, not bothering to inquire about the sugar.

"Xigbar's tiny bastard brought doughnuts," Axel says as a casual answer before continuing on his way. Saix feels a twinge of almost anger.

"For the last time, _who_  is Xigbar's tiny bastard?!"

Axel is already gone. Saix, fuming now, follows the way Axel came from on the off chance that he might finally see if Number 0 is real or not after all.

"Oh, hey," Xigbar greets him in the next open area he reaches, and Saix quickly checks the room and only finds Demyx aside from him. "Doughnut?"

"Don't "doughnut" me. Where is he?"

(Vanitas pops out from behind Saix with his mask on, tilting his head.)

He ignores Demyx stifling a laugh.

"Where's who? Axel? Just missed him."

"You know who I mean. If this Number 0 is real, you'd better--"

(Vanitas looks down and turns his hands in wonder, as if he's surprised at his own existence.)

Demyx erupts into full-on laughter, and Xigbar's cough is likely to hide his own as well. Saix looks behind him, swearing he sensed movement, but sees nothing.

(Vanitas reappears and looks behind himself before giving an exaggerated shrug.)

He feels like he's being thoroughly played, and it might actually be managing to make him _genuinely_  angry. His next sigh is more a growl than much else, but even Demyx is too amused to act scared.

"Listen, you've gotta relax. Does it really matter?" Xigbar deflects as always. "It's not like 0's gonna make a difference in how fast we get to our goal."

"Apparently, your little bastard is slowing us down," Saix snaps.

(Vanitas acts shocked and offended, theatrically recoiling and frantically gesturing to himself as if to ask "who, me?!")

Demyx has apparently run out of laughter and is now just silently convulsing, the occasional squeak the only evidence that he's still in the room to Saix, who is staring Xigbar down relentlessly.

"My what now? Come on, you think I'd have a kid without gettin' married first? As if."

(Vanitas wags his finger for emphasis.)

It's obviously a joke, even if Saix fails to find any amusement in it, but he doesn't understand what has Demyx laughing so hard. The confusion irritates him further.

"Get off the floor and get some work done for _once_  in your life, IX." Saix has to turn slightly to tell him off, and he definitely saw something behind him that time. He tries to follow it as it skirts the edges of his vision, but he just ends up spinning around 360 degrees and finding nothing.

"Doing tricks now? What's that one called?" Xigbar remarks.

Saix knows he just heard a snicker behind him, but he's too stubborn to look now.

"Stop playing around and get back to work. Now."

"Yes, sir," an unfamiliar voice responds sarcastically, sending Demyx into another laughing fit.

Saix is too tired for any of this nonsense.


End file.
